[This was originally published in July 2022 in my Kevin Adams Photography Newsletter. The “Did That Just Happen” posts were always the most popular, so I decided to do the same thing in this blog. I’ll be reposting all the old ones that pertain to waterfalls and adding new ones as crazy things happen on my waterfalling adventures.]

“Don’t f**K with me!”

If it wasn’t for her bright orange swimsuit, I wouldn’t have seen the woman, far ahead of me, as I was creekwalking to a waterfall in Puerto Rico. But there was no missing her voice. She was enraged, screaming at the top of her lungs every obscenity you could imagine at someone she obviously was not very fond of. Who was she talking to? I couldn’t see anyone else.

As it turns out, the person she wasn’t fond of was me. She stopped and sat down on a rock and waited on me. When I got close, she started talking to me at a reasonable decibel level, but still sounding like a sailor. It seems that at some point in my life I transformed into a monster and she was determined to prevent me from making her one of my victims.

Me: “But you don’t have any idea who I am.”

Delusional person: “I know who you are. I can tell these things.”

Me: “I’m just here to see the waterfall.”

Delusional person: “You look like a pedophile.”

I’m not sure if it’s because I was talking in low, calm, non-confrontational manner or because some internal switch kicked in (my bet is on the latter), but at some point our “conversation” turned somewhat civil with talk about where I’m from and who her husband is. We talked about the upstream waterfall that I was headed to and what would be involved in getting there. But the tone in her voice and the look on her face told me that at any second she might cast a spell and I would never see another waterfall again.

To continue upstream from that point I would have to walk very close to her on a steep rock face, with her above me and the river below. She could easily push me into the river as I passed her. Physically, I knew I could overtake her, but mentally, I knew I could not fight a woman. I asked her if it was okay if I passed and she said okay. With trepidation, I walked by her as she told me to never return. “We don’t want your kind here.”

About 90 minutes later, I returned from the waterfall and there she was, this time sitting on a rock on the opposite side of the river (thank goodness!).

Me: “Have a nice day” as I hold up my hand and wave.

Delusional person: “Don’t ever come back. We don’t like murderers.”

Me: Chuckles.

Delusional person: While using her fingers to spread her mouth wide and show her teeth, Why you laugh, like a gopher?”

Me: “You called me a murderer.”

Delusional person: “I can sense these things.”

Okay then.